I have a lot of questions about associations. When is it okay to befriend a person, and when is it taboo?What does it mean: "you are who you hang out with" and is there truth to that? Does this saying imply that I need to be careful hanging around too many different kinds of people for fear that I suffer an identity crisis of some kind?
And on the same line, do I need to be careful not to overhear conversations that could endanger my worldview? Is it dangerous to consider the perspectives of others, even the have-nots?
Do you know anyone of substance, anyone who is considered respectable, who regularly hangs out with the homeless or the drug addicts of the neighborhood? I'm not talking about those who serve Thanksgiving dinner in the soup kitchen once a year, but I really want to know if the destitute people of the world are worth getting to know. Certainly, if those who are satisfied with their lives are uncomfortable talking to people who are socially underneath them, and if I aspire to a comfortable future myself, should I also be afraid to get too close to the destitute ones?
Does a needy family have anything of value to say? Can we learn anything by getting to know them?
Photograph from NY Public Library
Lots to think about! But I am not surprised this line of thought is coming from you. You have always been a deep thinker.
ReplyDeletePersonaly, I think we should be friendly to all. We are bound to learn something from anyone if we keep our minds open. Being friendly to everyone may open up possiblities for new friends, even if they are not in our same walk of life. And although I think we can be friendly to anyone, I also think we should draw the line on forming friendships with anyone who would encourage us to go against the moral code we have set for ourselves. For instance, we can be friendly to the drug addict, but we do not have to follow him home and get high with him and his friends.
. . . and we are all together.
ReplyDeleteSure, you can trust yourself to not break your moral code. However, it is easier not to break it if you don't put yourself in a tempting situation.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I've seen guilt by association happen often. At the high school level, innocent kids get accused simply because they hang out with the perpetrators. Remember Jennifer and the cigarettes at camp? She was sent home simply because she shared a tent with the smoker. Though her mistake may actually have been that she didn't narc. And teenagers, by their own code of ethics, do not narc.
In the case of hanging out with an addict, I would be afraid the addict might get arrested for something while I was visiting and then I would also get hauled off to jail.
There is also the appearance we give to others. When I was a young married woman, first time away from home, living in a Navy community, I went next door to visit the neighbor girl, about the same age as me. Her husband soon came home and brought some friends. They lit up a bong and it passed completely around the room. It was very obvious to everyone that I did not partake. I made my excuses and left. Now what could it have looked like to anyone outside that apartment as I left? It would have been very hard to convince an observer that I had nothing to do with what was going on inside.
I still think it is charitible to be nice to everyone, but to spend the bulk of our time with only those who would walk our same road.