We haven't been told by a doc when our supposed due date is... but after careful calculations, I estimate it to be between May 8th and May 28th of 2009.
We're just too excited!!!
I finally went to see a doctor. "This is a pregnancy that's not viable..."
I remember her saying it with clasped hands and such a concerned look on her face.
"What does that mean?" I thought, why use such 'official' language?
"It means this pregnancy is not going to make a baby..."
I feel a bit foolish; a bit betrayed by my emotions and my body. I feel sad because we told everyone that we were expecting... and then I miscarried.
I know it's normal to feel disappointment and sadness. I know it's normal to feel somehow responsible. To wonder: am I to blame for this loss? To think: what could I have done differently?
This pregnancy was not meant to be, for whatever reason, and nature takes care of these things in a regular way. I believe there is a reason for everything, even if we might never know what that reason may be. I can blame whatever outside influence I choose, but the fact remains that what happens happens.
Thanks to all who continue to send their love and support. This is just another of life's trials that we are supposed to learn from.
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