Bread, I miss you already.

A friend of mine has an affectionate nickname for me.  It's "Cheese."  I thought it was a little strange and wondered where it came from, that perhaps I seemed like a cheesy person, so I asked her why she chose to call me that.  She explained that since she became a vegan she really misses some of her old favorite foods, like cheese.  So it really is a nickname bestowed with love.  I feel pretty lucky because she calls another friend "Chicken."

Ever since I adopted the Paleo diet and stopped eating dairy and grains, my chronic pain has pretty much disappeared.  At first I couldn't believe it.  Suffering from chronic pain has been my life for so many years that I found creative ways to forget about it or pretend it wasn't happening.  Now my mind feels so rested that I don't have to concentrate on ignoring the pain.  I have energy that I didn't have before, and for the first time in a long time I am not taking daily ibuprofen.

So, I'm thinking about calling up my friend and bestowing upon her the name of "Bread."

My Endocrine Problems (don't read if you're grossed out by such things)

I'm finally losing weight now because I finally have an endocrine specialist, the right medication, and a diet that seems to be working.  Without all of those things before, no amount of exercise or dieting was successful in helping me reach a healthy weight.  You don't have to believe me, and I am sure that many people assume that those who are fat are simply lazy, but in my case it's not true: I can blame [most of] it on my genes and screwed up hormones.  I exercised regularly, and I followed the American Diabetic Association's Carb Counting Diet (as proscribed by a nutritionist), and I still gained weight.  Knowing that society diminishes the worth of obese women and glorifies the very thin ones, for years I have felt hopelessly frustrated, forever worthless, and deeply depressed.

Although the genetic hand I was dealt is very challenging to work with, I still believe that it is my responsibility to be informed about my condition and health risks, so I can make the right choices to enable me to live as best as I can.  I'm not healthy.  The truth is I've been sick for many years, and I'm only just now beginning to heal, after a long and difficult search for answers.  In reality, doctors are still learning about polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), and tomorrow may be the day of a great breakthrough cure.  And it's odd to note that there may be a correlation between PCOS and hypothyroidism (which I also have).

To explain my issues as simply as I can, I'll use a bulleted list.

• defective thyroid gland fails to produce proper amount of thyroid hormone
• body burns energy slower than it should
• constantly tired with no energy
• unexplainable rapid weight gain (in my case: 100lb. weight gain in 3 years)
• hair loss, slow heart rate, depression
• nobody knows how one gets a defective thyroid gland
• it could be genetic, or environmental, or a combination of both
• it is more common in women than men, and babies can be born with it
• it is a lifelong condition with no known prevention and no cure
• treated with synthetic thyroid in the form of a daily pill (Synthroid for me)
• requires biannual blood tests to ensure drug effectiveness
• may require dosage adjustments, especially during pregnancy when thyroid levels are known to fall even lower
• symptoms can be treated, but the condition never goes away
• defective ovaries produce too much testosterone and prevent eggs from being released
• when eggs cannot be released, they form large, painful "cysts" on the ovary
• there is no chance of pregnancy 
• there is no monthly cycle, and no regular hormonal fluctuation
• there is risk of developing uterine cancer 
• facial hair, acne, weight gain
• high levels of insulin, and cells become insulin resistent 
• more likely to be obese
• high risk of developing diabetes, high blood pressure, cholesterol problems, and heart disease
• nobody knows how one gets PCOS
• it could be genetic, or it could be environmental, or a combination of both
• symptoms begin in puberty and last until menopause
• it is a lifelong condition with no known prevention and no cure
• treated with birth control pills to restore monthly cycle, reduce testosterone, reduce risk of uterine cancer, and sometimes treated with diabetes medication to regulate insulin (Metformin for me) 
• diet and exercise help to prevent heart disease and diabetes
• even if the symptoms of PCOS go away, risk of heart disease, diabetes, and uterine cancer always remain high, and weight will always be very difficult for a woman with PCOS to control
• the Paleo Diet, and other low-carb diets, have been rumored to work wonders

In case anyone was wondering what was going on with me lately, or why I haven't been blogging much or taking photos or being very sociable, this pretty much explains what I'm having to deal with.  PCOS is a very serious and dangerous condition that could cut my life short if I am not careful.  For me, the saddest part about having PCOS is being infertile.  I've always wanted to be a mother, and it's hard on my self worth as a young woman to be incapable of having a child.  The most difficult part about having PCOS is having to adjust my diet in such a radical way that I can't eat much of anything that is served at restaurants or in our family's homes.  I'm on a modified version of the Paleo Diet, which means that I can't have anything that wasn't accessible to Paleo Woman.  I secretly love this diet because I am an anthropologist after all, but I have an even greater reason to be happy about it.  So far, after a week on the diet, I've had a noticeable decrease in inflammation and pain, and I have more energy.  The only thing I miss about my previous American Standard Diet is chocolate.  However, I did make some amazing Paleo Brownies that satiated my chocolate craving perfectly!

My plan is to reach a healthy weight through diet, exercise, Synthroid, and Metformin, and then take another drug called Clomid to force my ovaries to release eggs.  In the past, women with PCOS had surgery to remove the cysts, but the results were always just temporary so surgery is no longer a typical option.  I have to believe what I am told and what I read, that with proper care and treatment, my PCOS symptoms may improve or go away altogether.  It's all I can do sometimes to keep my faith, when I know that no matter what I do, diabetes and heart disease remain a high risk for me for the rest of my life.  But I still believe in miracle babies.

New-found Hobby

This summer I took up a new hobby:  QUILTING!!!!  I'm not really sure how it started.  I think it began awhile ago and slowly gained momentum as I was thinking about the sewing machine, a gift from my Mom, sitting in a closet unused, and thinking about ways to consume less and conserve more, and ways to save money, and ways to make nice gifts for people, and ways to create family heirlooms, and that's kinda how my thoughts led me to quilting.

And so, many an hour I've spent in local quit shops, fondling fabrics and chatting with patrons and employees about projects, techniques, materials, and supplies.  Many a math mistake I've made and discovered after returning home with the wrong amount of fabric.  Oh well, I'll just add that to my growing stash.  It's been fun!  And it's given me something productive to do with my hands in the evenings while watching TV and relaxing my brain.  Using the internet as a resource for learning pretty much anything, I have built upon faint memories of sewing and making quilts with my Mom and sisters.  It's weird the kinds of things I remember about sewing as a child, and recognizing that now I have the dexterity of an adult, I don't have to cry when it's time to thread the bobbin.  I guess it's not always true that kids learn things easier and quicker than adults do.

For my first quilting project, I used the general design concept from this free pattern at Connecting Threads.  I used fabric from a remnant and three different fat quarter bundles from Hobby Lobby.  I had so much fun measuring and cutting and piecing that I was afraid I wouldn't like the quilting part.  But I was wrong!  I found The Free Motion Quilting Project, which is just a wonderful resource, and gave me the courage to buy a darning foot and give it a try.  I discovered that quilting turned out to be just as fun as the piecing was.  Now, I wonder how much I'll enjoy binding.  I guess I'll just have to cross that bridge.

Blu-ray is helping to reduce the flatness of the pieced quilt top.

Darning foot!  ebay purchase, shipped right to my mailbox and easily installed.

First free motion quilting experiment.  Looks pretty good!

Zoomed in to see stitching details and found cat hair.

It's rough and not very consistent, but I'm pleased with the progress I've made this summer.

Sims 3 Legacy Challenge

School starts in six days, and so far this summer I've been busy learning how to quilt (making multiple fondling trips to fabric stores), thinking about holiday plans (yes, I do that this early), practicing a balanced household budget (being an unemployed student is tricky), volunteering with refugees (as a glorified taxi-driver and secretary), and finding time to play the Legacy Challenge on The Sims 3, which I will be explaining a bit here.  

The Legacy Challenge rules involve starting with a single founder on the largest piece of land in the neighborhood, and playing 10 generations of the founder's family without using excessive manipulation (aka: cheats).  I named my founder George Wakefield.  Before he could afford to build himself a shack, George slept outside under the stars in a sleeping bag and used the facilities at the community center.  He grew his own food, married Laurel Grisby, raised two children, and worked very hard to become the doctor that he is today.  

Just yesterday the third generation was born and I am so proud!  George Wakefield III is a cute kid who does not seem to have inherited the donkey ears of his father (from the Grisby side of the family).  

Overall the family is doing very well, and they have expanded their house quite a lot thanks to income from the jobs of George I and George II, and from sales of Grandma Laurel's masterpiece paintings and sculptures.  The mother of George III is an aspiring author, but she is currently pregnant again so she may not have time to write for some time because twins run in her (the Lobos) family.  

This challenge is really fun for me because I enjoy genealogy as much as I enjoy micro-managing the lives of my sims.  As a girl I played with barbies and paper dolls, but since 2000 I've been playing the Sims.  

Love is all you need.

Thankfully, the Waldo Canyon Fire is 100% contained.  Family and friends in Colorado Springs and Woodland Park report great stories of community efforts to support those who lost their homes and loved ones.  It is wonderful to see people come together in moments of need.

My hometown burns...

The place where I was born is burning and I resent that my writer's block is jolted into action by this disaster.

One of my archaeology professors at UCCS, a High Plains specialist, taught us that a drought lasting 200+ years is to blame for the extreme dryness of our region.  I never knew how dry it was there until I moved away, but I really can't imagine a wetter Colorado.  My body prefers the dry cold nights and powdered snow.  But apparently, there is evidence to support a naturally greener Wild West.

In Charles Mann's book 1491 he wrote that American Indians periodically burned the landscape to keep the forest floor from accumulating too much debris, to prevent wildfires from getting out of control.  Mann criticized cultural icons like Smokey the Bear and wildfire images from Disney's Bambi, and the modern approach of avoiding fire - because ultimately in such a dry region there will be a fire, and without clearing debris through controlled fires, a wildfire will have a rich source of fuel to feed it for a long time.  My archaeology professor added to this theory by telling our class about a certain pine tree that requires extreme heat to procreate.  Without fire, the tree would be extinct.  Interesting.

Enough about history.

Colorado Springs is my homeland and I miss it so very much.  I have been suffering from an extreme case of topophilia since I moved away 542 days ago.  Can you blame me?  I spent 95% of my life there, so naturally I miss it terribly.  Hundreds of thousands of people love Colorado Springs as much as I do.  It is one of the fastest growing cities in the U.S.  People can't get enough of the fresh air and sunshine.  Those who love it can't say enough about how wonderful it is to live there.

The wildfire that is currently burning my beloved hometown has in four days consumed an unknown number of buildings and 15,000+ acres of forest.  Since Tuesday, I have watched from afar as 800+ firefighters and experts from Idaho battle the flames, and national media describe the event as a freak firestorm of nature.  All I can do is watch this coverage along with amateur YouTube videos and seek updates from my commiserating Colorado-loving Facebook friends.

In case you didn't already know this, my in-laws and some friends have been forced to evacuate their homes in Woodland Park.  Our tenants in Crystal Park evacuated our property in the middle of the night on the second day of the fire.  This is a nightmare that robs me of sleep and breaks my heart.

What a disaster.  I can't stop thinking about those who lost their homes and businesses, and residents who want to help but can only watch in horror, and people who are seeking shelter at the YMCA and in public high school gymnasiums and praying for rain, hoping that the fire doesn't consume their livelihood.

I feel so helpless.  Some of my favorite places are burning and nobody can do anything about it.

What a better way to end this gloomy post than by sharing a link to some very high quality but disturbing photos.  P.S., I recognize every location in each one of these 200+ photos, and I am still in disbelief:  Click here

I love my job!

My internship at World Relief is exposing me to the nonprofit sector and also enabling me to gain experience in social work, career counseling, and marketing.  My supervisor is having me brainstorm a plan of action to create an improved employment development program for our clients.  As I think about this project I have consulted Dusty about international affairs, a subject he is passionate about, to help me understand the various situations that our clients might be coming from.

Most of our clients are from Somalia, and others are from Iraq and Nepal.  They haven't been in our country for very long.  I tagged along to the airport to pick up a Somali individual who arrived in Columbus straight from a refugee camp in Malta.  I have met clients with limited English skills, and some who are fluent.  World Relief offers refugees assistance as they learn to become contributing members of our society.  My work directly involves placing them in jobs, and getting them ready for those jobs.  This is a challenge especially for those with limited English.

The Columbus branch of World Relief is bran new.  It just opened in February and has a very small number of employees and clients.  I feel so fortunate to have the opportunity to assist with the development of this program.  It is a very rewarding experience, and also a great way to learn valuable skills for the job I get after getting my BA (class of 2013! Woohoo!!).