I love my family

Our home has gained four people this year, and I am so happy it has!

My Calling

The universe has called me to be a teacher. I HAVE FOUND MY VOCATION and it feels so good to say it. The revelation came last school year when I worked as a substitute teacher. It was the best job I'd ever had the pleasure to do, and it was so fun I couldn't believe I was getting paid. It felt natural! For the first time in 19 years of employment I couldn't wait to go to work.

It took quite a while, as you can see here, here, and here, to find what I was supposed to do. I marveled at the mystery of how others just knew it, declared it, got the training, and found themselves doing the thing they had always wanted to do. Many times I believed there was no calling for me. Anguishing in unfulfilling jobs for years paid my bills but did nothing to help me find my dream job.

But I did always know that I had to be in school and that's why I never gave up working to get my degrees: an Associate of Arts Degree from Pikes Peak Community College in 2009, and a Bachelor of Arts Degree from The Ohio State University in 2013. My BA allowed me to get a substitute teaching license, which I got in 2015 after my husband had been encouraging me for awhile. And after my first day on the job I knew I was meant to teach.

The next step is to get a license to teach my own classroom. I've researched three different pathways available to me and decided to pursue a MEd with licensure. It will take a few more years but I will be subbing until then and I will be happy. I am happy.

Honest and Unedited Ramblings on Fertility

I feel so ashamed.

I want a baby so bad it breaks my heart.

I feel like my infertility is the disgusting elephant in the room. Everybody knows but nobody says anything about it.

I feel like the best thing is to hide my face and never look at my in-laws again.

I feel so ashamed that the wife of their son has been unable to give them a grandchild.

I'm afraid I am a disappointment to them forever because I'm too old to redeem myself.

I am currently ashamed and mortified that Dusty's cousin fell pregnant after six months when we couldn't do the same in six years. I don't ever want to show my face around them again.

Meet Dawna Belle

We adopted Dawna Belle from the Colorado Springs Humane Society in 2009 after the tragic disappearance of our girl cat Mae. According to the Humane Society, Dawna had been one of several cats, several dogs, and several birds  brought into custody after the death of their elderly human mom.

Dawna is about 8 or 10 years old and she's a tri-colored Torbie with asymmetrical markings. She has one black leg and the other three are tortoise. All of her paws are white. 

She's loyal, observant, and consistent. She loves to sit on my lap and purr. She never grows tired of it and could sit there for hours, purring the whole time and reaching out to touch my hand. She's also easy going and patient, except for when we fostered her cousin Tuff for a few weeks. She hated him for no clear reason and refused to come out from under the bed until he was gone. Otherwise, she likes the companionship of our 2 year old boy cat Wingman (Mingy). She doesn't mind that he is rambunctious sometimes because he is sweet to her.

She is very shy and doesn't really care for men. After me, her favorite people are grandmothers. She's not sure about children, having no real experience with them other than when my nephew came to visit once. She watched him from a distance until he was gone.

She'll come outside on occasion, but only if I'm on the porch and only if the door stays open. She could do without the outside and never begs to go out.

Dawna's favorite food is canned Fancy Feast of the sliced or grilled variety. She also likes deli meat and those little cat treats that come in a small bag.

Sometimes she'll play but it's rare and she is usually very shy about it. If I see her playing with a toy she'll run and hide. A few times a month she'll run around the house chasing things invisible to the human eye. 

She has come a long way since we adopted her. Not only has she come with us all the way from Colorado, she has gained confidence every year she's been with us. From a shy girl who observed everything from afar to a mature lady who allows every woman in the room to hold her on their laps, Dawna Belle is my sweet loyal companion. She's soft and clean and warm and snuggly and I love her.

I'm a Substitute Teacher

I resigned from being a shift manager at Subway. It wasn't a bad job but I wasn't happy doing it. I miss my coworkers and my customers, but I never enjoyed handling meat products all the time (I'm still a vegetarian). Plus, I would always hurt myself lifting heavy things and pushing myself to work faster, and came home sore and smelling like sour sandwiches. Yuck!

One of my goals this year was to get a substitute teaching license, which I did within the first few weeks of 2015. I am now licensed in Ohio to substitute teach in any subject and any grade. For long term assignments I can teach social studies and humanities to grades 7-12.

When I became licensed, I started getting early morning job offers every school day. If I was scheduled at Subway that day I had to decline the offer to substitute teach. It soon became frustrating that so often I would decline a teaching job so I could work for less pay doing something I didn't really like. Soon I decided to quit working at Subway and pursue substitute teaching full time. I left a job making subs so I could be a sub instead.

And that's how I became a substitute teacher.

Why blog?

Hello . . . I haven't blogged in awhile. My blog posts became less frequent because I questioned my intentions as a blogger. I wondered what I hoped to accomplish here.

I think Facebook took the place of my blog. I found the interface easy, fast, and convenient. I replaced lengthy, thoughtful blog posts with short status updates. I posted all of my photos there instead of here because I could dump hundreds of pictures into an album without worrying about format and presentation. Plus, it feels good to get quick feedback from friends and family. Not everyone has the time or desire to read blogs, but almost everyone I know who has an Internet presence is easily reached through Facebook. I enjoy tagging photos and checking into places, and I like the satisfaction of receiving likes and comments. Blogging never gave me the same feeling of community. So, that's why I've been asking myself why I'd want to continue my blog.

I really liked blogging. I remember that. It was fun to practice my writing skills. I liked talking about my ideas and sharing my discoveries. I'd like to continue that.

The Game of Topophilia

I just created a super fun game! It's called Topophilia. Here are the rules:

1. Go to this website: Globe Genie. You will be on the ground somewhere in gorgeous northern Scotland. The world will be spinning. Never fear. 
2. Set up the game: Look at the menu on the right. Put a check mark on every continent in the list. Make sure the Auto option is in the off position. Turn off the slow pan, or leave it on, your choice. Use the little plus sign on the mini map to zoom in all the way. 
3. Now, click on the Teleport button!
4. You are NOT ALLOWED to look in the upper left corner of the screen. There will sometimes be an address there and looking is cheating. You want this to be fun! 
5. You will explore using the clicking and dragging method of navigating Google Street View (because that's what this is!) 
6. Find clues and guess where you are! Clues can be found by looking at: road signs, fashion and architecture styles, vegetation/climate, etc. Be a detective! 
7. You can time yourself if you would like. Ultimately, once you think you know where you are, you zoom out on the map and find out if you're right. 
8. Keep a tally and brag to your friends. Your goal can be whatever you want it to be. I like to guess the country, or if I know it's the U.S. or Canada I like to guess the state or province. 

Use this game to explore and get to know this beautiful planet we all call home.