Saturday, December 28, 2013

The Story of Orange Cat

I made a cat go out in the cold on Christmas Day. She had worn out her welcome. Here is the story of Orange Cat.

She came into our lives three weeks before Christmas. I was leaving to get groceries, it was dark and beginning to snow. While the door was open she came into the house and met our boy cat Mingy with a hiss and high pitched growl. I thought maybe she had confused our house with hers so I held the door open for her to leave but she stayed in the living room. I decided to feed her and she decided to stay.

During the next few days I worked to find the owners of the cat. I published an ad on Craigslist about how I had taken in a sweet orange cat on the night of the snowstorm. I described her friendly personality and cute face and included several pictures. This ad was posted on every church Facebook page in Circleville with the hope that a family would soon be reunited with their pet. One couple was hoping she was their lost orange cat and even came to see her to learn she wasn't. I wrote and mailed 30 postcards to our immediate neighbors with the simple question "did you lose an orange cat?" along with my phone number. Three ladies on the street behind our house called to tell me they regularly feed a colony of stray orange cats and described some of them. After a week of this I changed my approach. Deciding that she was not someone's beloved lost pet, I adjusted the Craigslist ad to offer Orange Cat for adoption.

Meanwhile, she was not getting along with our cats, especially our girl Dawna. Twice Orange Cat jumped her from behind while Dawna was eating and sleeping. Dawna retreated under our bed where I didn't see her for days. I left food on the floor by the bed and come back later to collect her empty plate. Mingy had been a homeless cat before we adopted him, and because of his background I think he understood Orange Cat's situation in life. He wanted to hang out with her and be friends but she wouldn't make peace. Toward people she was very sweet and affectionate. She loved to snuggle and play but hated sharing affection with Mingy and Dawna. She despised our cats and continued to be aggressive toward them. I knew she couldn't stay with us much longer but I didn't want to throw her out into the cold Ohio winter. It just didn't seem right. I was determined to find her a new home so I locked her into the spare bedroom with food, water, and litter box.

By the third week I was losing hope that Orange Cat would be adopted. The local cat shelter was full. A nearby pet store employee said that Pickaway County doesn't get involved with the stray cat population. He didn't know of any other resources around. I patrolled Craigslist and answered want ads from people who were looking for cats to adopt but when they learned about Orange Cat's story they lost interest. Two people answered my adoption ad but their reactions were the same. Nobody wanted to adopt a stray cat that had wandered in from the storm. And why would they want a cat that's no longer a kitten with no known medical history? A person adopting a cat is like a person with money buying a house during a real estate market crash.

After I found a long red scratch from Mingy's eye to his lip, I moved Orange Cat from the bedroom to the garage and checked Craigslist one last time before going to bed. That night I dreamed about May Grim, my beloved black cat who was lost to the outside five years ago. May said I was keeping a wild animal prisoner in my home and risking the happiness and safety of my own two cats. The next morning I fed Orange Cat one last time and sent her outside. It was Christmas Day when Mingy and Dawna got their house back.

I can't feel bad about my decision to make Orange Cat move out. I know given my resources I couldn't keep her any longer. I expect to see her circling our house for awhile. She hangs out with the neighbor kids across the street. I've seen her fight off stray cats twice her size. She's a tough kitty and I believe she'll be able to take care of herself. It just makes me sad to know that I couldn't help her find a cozy home with a human family to love her and spoil her the way I spoil my furry children. Stray cats lead short and stressful lives. It's winter in Ohio and there are homeless cats all around my neighborhood, my town, your town. I wish I could save them all.

Friday, December 27, 2013

2014 GOALS

Once again I'm fortunate to greet a new year. I hope it will be a productive one, full of exploration, discovery, care, creation, and connection. Here are things I hope to accomplish in the next 365 days:
  • post these goals on my blog (12/27/13)
  • give an update after my 31st birthday in May
  • post a final report at the end of the year
  • walk any distance every day
  • do vigorous exercise three times per week
  • read 12 books
  • work in my garden each week
  • visit 20 new places
  • take 2,500 photographs
  • write 50,000 words of a manuscript
  • write 25 more blog posts than I wrote in 2013
  • paint the bedroom
  • go canoeing by myself
  • go hiking with friends and/or family
  • go on a road trip
  • send 100 postcards
  • write 1 letter each month
  • write in my journal each week
  • paint the kitchen furniture
  • lose 50 pounds
  • begin fertility drugs
  • get a job
  • organize bookcase
  • organize garage
  • go to Canada
  • open an Etsy shop
  • go geocaching 12 times
  • try 40 new recipes 

Sunday, December 22, 2013

'twas a week of in-laws!

It was a really great week. We have now finished celebrating Christmas with both sides of my husband's family. He is back to work and I am preparing to have my sister and nephew come stay for awhile.

I am lucky to have so many wonderful people for in-laws. They are warm and inviting, affectionate, helpful, smart, creative, hard-working, fun, silly, playful, and hilarious. My husband wouldn't be who he is without them. My life wouldn't be the same without them. I love them and I know they love me.

Sunday, December 15, 2013

I Love Lamictal

My doctor gave me the Bipolar diagnosis earlier this year.* It made sense at the time but I doubted it when the medications I started didn't work (I was allergic to Zoloft). After the second medication didn't work (Effexor wouldn't be safe without birth control, and I hate birth control), I really didn't care to take meds at all. I believed I'd be fine and that I actually didn't need them. It didn't take long for me to change my mind and try a third kind: Lamictal.

I love Lamictal because
  • my moods are consistent from day to day, from minute to minute, from week to week.
  • I am productive! because I don't lose interest or give up on projects before they are finished.
  • my behaviors are consistent.
  • I can have a routine! 
  • I make breakfast in the morning. And clean up after. And do it again the next day! I even make dinner!! 
  • I can remember what I did yesterday. I can remember what I did last week! And tomorrow I will remember what my plans are, and I will have the energy and fortitude to follow through. Even if I don't get everything done, I'll be OK. I won't beat myself up about it. 
  • I have control of myself and my life.
  • I feel genuinely positive about my future. 
  • I actually kind of like myself. 
I'm happy and sad at the same time. Mostly happy because I am so grateful that my life quality has increased so much. I'm sad because for most of my life I had no idea what my problem was. But I knew something wasn't right, so that's why I didn't give up searching. 


*I feel like I should share what my life was like before the diagnosis and before I started Lamictal, for the sake of others who may have questions about their own behaviors and moods. My experiences are my own, though. I'm no professional. 

Before the diagnosis: 
  • I couldn't remember what I was doing or feeling last week or even just a few days ago.
  • I was depressed much of the time. 
  • When I wasn't depressed I was either catatonic or manic.
  • Mania for me included: spending money we didn't have, starting grandiose projects and giving up on them quickly, talking rapidly and for long periods of time. Justifying skipping school to go shopping or work on said projects.
  • My catatonia was like spending all day in bed sleeping and only getting up to pee. Never showering. Never eating. Skipping classes.
  • Depression was the most constant feeling. It was always there, so I never realized it was depression. 

Saturday, December 14, 2013

I'm Procrastinating.

I had quite the freak-out moment this morning after I woke up, rolled over in bed, and checked my blog from my phone. Yes - I am full of myself, so I check my blog all the time to make sure it's suitable for human eyes. I even check it in bed.

My blog's pictures were gone. And in their places were ugly gray minus signs. And I wept.

Immediately I went searching for other cases like mine, and I ran across some tragic stories of bloggers who had lost years of hard work when all of the pictures from their blogs disappeared. I wept some more. I've been building this blog since June, 2008. If I lost all of the pictures it would be impossible to put it back together the way it was.

Our Christmas guests will be arriving in just three days, which means that I have 2 days to get the house ready. I'm suffering from pure procrastination as I look for any other things to focus on instead of cleaning. For example, yesterday I unpacked a box, and got photos printed, and placed them in frames and hung them just perfectly on the wall in the dining area. Yesterday I removed everything from all of my kitchen drawers and cabinets with the intention of organizing everything just perfect. Now the kitchen looks worse than it did before. And meanwhile... the rest of the house hasn't been touched.

So, what am I doing blogging right now? I just wanted to say that I've fixed the picture problem on my blog. All is not lost. I followed my Mom's advice to drink some chamomile tea and I feel much better. I will go back to cleaning now.

Monday, December 9, 2013

More Colorado Pics



morning at parents' cabin

cactus at parents' home

Mom's hens

little rascals

tree decorating with the rascals

so cute =)

Postcrossing

About two weeks ago I joined Postcrossing. It's a website that facilitates sending/receiving postcards to and from random people throughout the world. So far I've exchanged postcards with people in Japan, Russia, Germany, the Netherlands, and the U.S.A.

This activity makes the world seem more accessible, and it also brings people together who would otherwise never have contact, even if it is just through a postcard. I love this project and I am so glad I found it! 

Thursday, December 5, 2013

NaNoWriMo Update

I didn't reach my goal of 50,000 words in 30 days, but I did write 21,672 words in that time. Wow! I had no idea I had it in me to write so many words in just a month. I feel encouraged and inspired to keep writing. I feel confident! I feel like I can write a novel. And I will keep working on it until it's finished!

A Trip to the Cabin


My parents took me to their cabin when I came to visit for Thanksgiving.
Most days in Colorado are clear and sunny like this, and the sky is always bright blue.
We drove past the Spanish Peaks on our way to breakfast in Walsenburg. 

I was thankful to be back and so happy to see familiar landscapes.
I truly love and miss my homeland.

We stopped at the ghost town of Ludlow,
where there was a coal mine in the foothills where Dad is facing.

Nobody lives here now, but once it was a bustling company town.

There was a massacre here in 1914.

The Colorado National Guard and Colorado Fuel & Iron Company
 camp guards attacked 1,200 striking miners and their families.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ludlow_Massacre

A little ways up the road is the Ludlow Monument.

We arrived at the cabin around noon and unloaded the truck.

Then we took a hike into the hills and passed through scrub oak, pines, grasses,
cacti, hiking upwards over beds of exposed sandstone...

...until we reached top of a giant sandstone formation and sat down to enjoy the view.

We could see the cabin in a clearing below, and thousands of miles all around.

After we returned to the cabin and ate supper,
Mom and I made henna art on our hands.

As the henna dried we watched a movie until bedtime.

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Thanksgiving 2013

I am so very grateful that I was able to go to Colorado for Thanksgiving; to celebrate a holiday with my family for the first time in 3 years. Below are some photos from throughout the day.


Mom and Dad making apple pie

Dad and his grandkids hanging Christmas lights at my grandparents' house

my sister and her munchkins

calling Uncle Leslie to the table
The menu:

  • Papa's famous stuffing
  • sweet potatoes with marshmallows on top
  • green bean casserole
  • rice
  • gravy 
  • turkey
  • corn on the cob
  • cranberry sauce
  • relish tray
  • rolls
  • pumpkin pie
  • apple pie