I am he as you are he as you are me...

I have a lot of questions about associations.  When is it okay to befriend a person, and when is it taboo?

What does it mean:  "you are who you hang out with" and is there truth to that?  Does this saying imply that I need to be careful hanging around too many different kinds of people for fear that I suffer an identity crisis of some kind?

And on the same line, do I need to be careful not to overhear conversations that could endanger my worldview?  Is it dangerous to consider the perspectives of others, even the have-nots?

Do you know anyone of substance, anyone who is considered respectable, who regularly hangs out with the homeless or the drug addicts of the neighborhood?  I'm not talking about those who serve Thanksgiving dinner in the soup kitchen once a year, but I really want to know if the destitute people of the world are worth getting to know.  Certainly, if those who are satisfied with their lives are uncomfortable talking to people who are socially underneath them, and if I aspire to a comfortable future myself, should I also be afraid to get too close to the destitute ones?

Does a needy family have anything of value to say?  Can we learn anything by getting to know them?

Photograph from NY Public Library

A Cozy Corner

I just finished reading a couple of very insightful articles on living simply and enjoying the moment.

The first article I would like to bring up is by Scott H Young.  Like Scott, I wish I could be an expert in everything.  I have a lot of different interests and aspirations.  It can get overwhelming very quickly to have my priorities all over the place.  One thing I have to remind myself daily is:  I don't have infinite amounts of energy.  To remedy this habit of exhaustive-enthusiasm, Scott suggests directing all of your personal energy into a few worthy pursuits instead of trying to do everything at once.  He's made a list of "unimportant things" to help him stay on the right track.

I decided to try a list of my own, and it was not easy.  At first my list started out as all priority: spouse, school, money, cooking, home, writing, language, etc.  It was one really huge, industrious list.  One by one, I began pulling things out of the priority list and putting them into the list of "unimportant things", or more appropriately "things I will have time for later".  This exercise forced me to consider what is primarily valuable for my life today.  As much as I would like to have everything now, it's just simply unrealistic.

The second article can be found at Study Hacks by Cal Newport.  The title is:  "Are you living well or preparing to live well?"  What a great question.  I find myself making a lot of choices based on the distant future payback aspect.  Going to school, getting married, or buying a house are such choices.  But what about the choices we make that effect our day to day lives?  How many other long term goals are we spending energy on in addition to the kind just mentioned?  Are we doing things that bring us joy every day?  Do our goals include eating and sleeping well?  Exercising?  Cultivating relationships?  Having a safe and cozy place to live?

There are a lot of things I want to do with my life.  I want to travel, meet people, and write about what I see.  I'm not in a position to do those things yet, but I continue to prepare myself for that day in the future.  I'm still trying to sort out my long term and short term goals, while remembering to make daily choices that have positive results tomorrow.

Yesterday, I splurged a bit on some inexpensive items that will make my home seem warmer this winter.  I brought home a bright red vinyl tablecloth with a pretty herringbone pattern, and a pumpkin spice candle to make the house smell festive.  In two days, my family is coming here for dinner, and I hope these simple things will ease my mind just a little about the bareness of our [new] home.

Photograph from NY Public Library

Just a nice picture.

Autumn is such a pretty time of year.  I love the colors.


This picture was taken from land owned by the University of Colorado, here in Colorado Springs.


Pike's Peak is the snow-capped mountain in the background.  The foreground contains the kind of vegetation found on the grassy plains, like sage and scrub oak.

Home sick today.

I don't feel very well.  My  nose is leaking and my belly feels queasy.  I've got a slight headache and chills.  But I don't wanna lie down and rest.  I wanna go shopping!  Let's get ready for the winter season!  Let's drape afghans and throws all over the couches!  Get a warm colored table cloth or a runner, and put a big rug on the floor!  How about a soft lamp for a glowy effect?  Oh boy, I've gotta go back to the bathroom... 

Okay, I’m back. 

Whatever bug I've got, it's probably from the girl who sits next to me in Anthropology class, or the girl who sits next to me in Spanish class, or any number of kids who are sniffling and blowing their noses and sneezing and spreading their germs all over campus.  It's really gross.  But I kinda hope it's the swine flu, just because that would be so sensational, wouldn't it?  Headlines all over the world would read:  COLORADO UNIVERSITY QUARANTINED CLASSES SUSPENDED.  Yea!

On a serious turn, this is my Hundredth post!  Yay, me!  I will celebrate my success with another cup of tea.  Oh, what the heck, I'm gonna light a candle to honor myself.  Or better yet, I'm gonna light every candle in the house!  Then, I'm gonna build a fire and sit in my rocking chair and watch the birds outside.  Maybe after drinking this chicken broth and white plum tea I will feel like doing something calmingly productive.  Like draw pictures or something.  


Photograph from NY Public Library

I need an umbrella.

The weather forecast indicated an 80% chance of rain today...

I was one of Colorado's natives predicting a September snowfall, and I was proven right this afternoon.  I'm so proud of myself.  I should thank the Farmer's Almanac for helping me make my prediction.

I've seen that a lot of my fellow university students bring their umbrellas to school...  I mean seriously, umbrellas?  in Colorado?  That was my initial line of thought.  But it has been very rainy this year.  Not the kind of weather I've been accustomed to for the last several years.  I guess the eastern slope should get a lot of rain, being that the westerly winds shwoosh in and meet the mountains, pushing the clouds up to get pressurized... bla bla bla... Except that up until this year, I remember a lot of fire warnings during the very dry months leading up to winter.  It's easy to forget the Blizzard of '97.

A few times this semester, I wished for an umbrella.  Like last week, there was a crazy thunderstorm and pea-sized hail crashing down on my bare head all the way from the Columbine Hall to the Dwire Hall, a 7-8 minute brisk walk, one third of a mile long, from one end of the campus to the other.  Needless to say, being soaked through was enough motivation to cut my time in half as I ran through the frozen peas.

My fellow students whipped open their umbrellas again this afternoon, when big snowflakes whirled around us in a searching dance before melting onto the ground.  It was beautiful.  I love the snow.  I drove home with my driver's side window wide open, inhaling the clean wind as it tussled my hair.  Admiring the aspen leaves, not quite yellow, against the evergreen forest, all dusted white.

I got home, immediately pulled on some boots, grabbed my camera, and let the cats outside to experience the winter wonderland of our yardscape.  Toss is the boldest of the two, and showed his fearlessness by marching off into the drifts.  It took Belle a little longer to decide that she could walk in the stuff.  I took a series of glamor shots of Toss, he's such a lover of the camera.  It's harder to get pictures of Belle because something about the lens terrifies her.

Now that we are finished taking pictures, Toss is tuckered out.  He's snoozing on top of my crochet project.  Getting monster hair all over it.  I changed into some fluffy socks and pajamas, and started a fire in our wood burning stove.  Belle has suddenly become frisky, and she is running about the house in short spurts, chirping as she takes off from each new location.  She must have been energized from licking the fresh melted snow from her paws.  I wonder if she'd ever been outside in the snow until today?

Conversations

Is there something wrong with me for being willing to talk about almost every subject imaginable?  Pretty much everything is interesting to me, and although I can't speak intelligently on very many things, I have fun trying.  I wouldn't be very fun to talk to regarding stuff I have no use for, like sports or manga cartoons.  But let me start on different foods, the history of Christmas, American politics, and different religions ... then I'll never stop.

There are some things I have trouble talking about.  For example, my husband loves to talk about the military, and when he does my head sort of gets a little fuzzy.  I keep telling him to start a blog so that he can share his thoughts with people other than me, while I try to listen, I really do try!  It's just that I am more interested in the old buildings that are smashed to pieces in a bomb raid and the lives of the townspeople who survive it than the make and model of the plane that dropped the bomb, or the formation of the bomber squad...  The same thing happens when I go on a rant about my plans for the house, how we're gonna dig a basement for my workshop, and raise the roof and install a loft, and erect a garage and a greenhouse... his eyes just sort of glaze over.

And then there are my most beloved favorites, the subjects of politics and religion, two things I will go on and on about, much to the discomfort of nearly everyone in the room, except for my immediate family members who either agree with my ideas, or love me despite our differences.  After all, it was my family who gave me this passion.  We are all history geeks.  My dad prefers to read the original works by our Founding Fathers rather than someone's modern day interpretation.  My mom is writing her third book on our family history.  I volunteered 6 summers of my childhood to a living history site.  The past just comes naturally, feels right, makes everything today make sense.

Politics and Religion are deeply rooted in history.  Human society has found the need to create and recreate doctrines and laws many times over.  Need I bring up the American Revolution, the Church overruling limbo for babies, or the Civil Rights Movement?  As individual circumstances change, many people find the need to change their position, hoping that others will follow and that circumstances will become better (or worse... ) for larger numbers of people.  I tried to warn you that I'm kinda long-winded about this stuff, but I'm just trying to say that today's beliefs descend from a combination of ancient thought and changes between then and now.

So, because beliefs evolve to take on what matters immediately, I am interested in striking up conversations.  Let's talk about everything!  I really think we should care about the thoughts of others, because those thoughts might need a little stoking before they become the next greatest ideas in human history.

Ancient Harvest

One of the courses I am taking this semester covers the geography and peoples of Mexico, Central America, and the Caribbean.  We are currently studying the ancient empires of this region, like the Mayans and the Aztecs.  I visited the university library yesterday to find some inspiration for the term paper we are to write for this class.  I brought home eight books! on the subjects of Mesoamerican food, medicine, and gender.  Hoping that a research topic will jump out at me from the pages of one of those books, I found an interesting Aztec verse quoted in Eating Landscape by Philip P. Arnold.  In a chapter about human sacrifice and corn harvest being directly related, this verse reads:

We live HERE on the earth [stomping on the mud floor]

we are all fruits of the earth

the earth sustains us

we grow here, on the earth and flower

and when we die we wither in the earth

we are ALL FRUITS of the earth [stomping on the mud floor]

We eat the earth

then the earth eats us.

At this time of year, it is fitting to recognize the Earth for her bounty of fruits, grains, and vegetables.  It is nice that we humans know how to ensure a good harvest without having to sacrifice our children to the fertility gods.  As the aspen leaves in the trees around my home begin to turn golden, I mentally prepare for the cold winter ahead.  I am grateful to be living, to be taking in the mountain air, planting my feet upon the dirt, watching the sun's arc over my head, as I hang my clothes on the line to dry.

Miscarriage

My dreams are crashing down and I feel that all eyes are on me, on my fertility, family history, my genetic hand.  I am told that it’s not my fault.  They all claim that, hoping I will believe that a child’s death inside of me is insignificant.  My mind reaches out to grasp for an answer.  I am quieted by the vastness of the unknown, my breath sucked out of me from the vacuum of space.  My only comfort is time passed.  

Harbor Cruise

Last month when Dusty and I were in San Diego with two of my sisters, the rest of us planned a surprise party for the sister who was just turning 22.  We all went on a cruise!

The name of our excursion into the San Diego Harbor was the "Sights and Sips Sunset Cruise" and rightly so, because it was planned around the sun's daily retirement into the Pacific Ocean.  Below is a picture of the light from the setting sun as it filtered through the concrete pillars of the Coronado Bridge.

With the admission price came a variety of all-you-can-eat stuff-your-face appetizers like shredded pork sandwiches, pineapple salsa with chips, rice, and chicken kabobs.  There was even dessert towards the end!  The ship took us up and down the harbor, passing beneath the Coronado Bridge twice.  It is an interesting photo subject because of how it curves so gracefully across the water.

Although everyone else in my party had seen the sun setting over the Pacific, it was my first time.  So I lapped it up.  The colors of the western sky were a mixture of pastels and fire.

Everyone was having a good time.  It was nice to relax and enjoy the scenery with two of my sisters and my husband.  I can still smell the salty breeze and hear the chugging engine and visualize seagulls drifting on the waves of the air.